In my life, I have discovered a correlation with many Friends episodes. Corny? Perhaps. True? Always. This Sunday morning was like a replay of the episode when Ross is trying to get everybody out the door on time.
Only I was Ross and the people were 7 children 14 and under and a spouse.
The morning started out with me somehow over-sleeping. It wasn’t by so much that we’d never make it, but just enough to make life a little difficult.
Then, of course, there is waking everybody up. I had to go re-wake up three children at least once. I finally got everybody conscious and that is when the real fun began.
I walk upstairs to check on Miss O who was supposed to have taken a bath because she still had piles of gel in her hair from school Friday when her brother fixed it for Crazy Hair Day. Upon my arrival into the bathroom, I discover the following:
1.) Miss E (4 yrs) still in PJ’s NOT eating breakfast.
2.) Miss K (8 yrs) wanting me to fix her hair, however, there was no comb or brush in sight.
3.) Miss O (6 yrs) bathed HOWEVER she neglected to wash or condition her hair which was the entire point of the bath. And she still hadn’t eaten breakfast.
“Miss K go find me a brush AND a comb.”
“But I don’t know where they arrrrreeeee.”
“I don’t care. Miss E GO EAT BREAKFAST!!!” For the love of all things holy. “And Miss O, take that dress off, I will never get a brush through that hair. We HAVE to wash it!”
“Do I HAVE to?”
I then proceed to stick her head under the faucet and wash her hair. In the meantime Miss K comes back with a brush but no comb and Mr. Baby Man is downstairs beating Miss E to a pulp because she took his spot at the counter.
Neither of them had eaten breakfast yet.
“Miss L, did you eat?” I holler down into the kitchen because I caught sight of her lollygagging.
“Not yet.” She hollers back. “Please eat right now, we are going to be late!”
I dry Miss O’s hair and track down a comb. I finally fix the hair of one child only to have Miss E wander upstairs still not having eaten, but I drag her into her room anyway. She protests loudly that she can’t get dressed because she hadn’t eaten yet.
I throw a dress on her and fix her hair, then take the brush comb and hair tie downstairs because Miss O disappeared to eat.
Mr. Baby Man had somehow been wrestled into his Sunday clothes by Dad, but Dad and Mr. A still hadn’t eaten.
So at this point I had 2 1/2 people ready for church 5 minutes before it was time to leave. Miss E asks me to pour her milk and I kindly explain that there isn’t any freaking time left and to please eat a banana.
Did I mention that I woke up with a sore throat?
By the time the last person made it out the door, the vein in my head was bulging, but somehow everyone made it to church. Mostly on time and a few of them actually ate breakfast.
I only know that because of the cereal bowls littered across my kitchen table upon our return.
It was good times. Motherhood at it’s finest.
What is your hairiest experience trying to leave the house?