“Would you like to come inside, dear?” she asked, her frail hands beckoning us forward.
“I suppose so, but we will only stay for a minute.” I ushered my little ones through the door, begging them not to touch anything. Their little hands seemed to be magnetized and went immediately for the knick knacks on her table.
“Please don’t touch.” I said.
We sat and visited for a few minutes before I anxiously hurried my crew out the door and I realized something I hadn’t thought about in years.
I don’t have any breakable knick knacks where the children can reach in the whole entire house. My house is the epitome of “Childproof”. Some things are just impractical when it comes to having young children, but even more things are impractical when you have a large family.
Impractical Things for a Family of 9
1. Minivans ~ I never wanted to drive a minivan. I wanted to drive something cool, like an SUV, until I was a grownup and understood that an SUV also has a very cool price which I was unwilling to pay. So I drove a minivan until we outgrew it. And yes, you can outgrow a minivan.
2. Decorations ~ I used to be all over home decor. I wanted that glamorous well put-together home that made you want to ask where I found such amazing items. In reality, I settle for pictures on the walls (sometimes) and anything plastic. I like to say that I decorate in the late childhood classical period.
3. NOT menu planning ~ I used to, in my younger days, just show up at the grocery store and shop willy-nilly. I would come up with a few things we might eat and just fill my cart at random. I can’t shop willy-nilly for 9 people. I have to have a full-on menu planned for lunch and dinner now.
4. Shopping ~ You don’t go shopping with kids in tow. Unless you are desperate. I did make the mistake of taking them with me when I went swimsuit shopping at Target this year. It was an experience riddled with “sit right here and don’t move” and “please don’t open the door until Mama is dressed”! The more kids I have the less likely it is I will take little ones with me. That’s what the big kids are for…babysitting. And honestly, the stares of utter shock when I walk into the store with all 7 in tow, is almost worth taking them with me. Almost. But really not.
5. Vacation packages or giveaways ~ Nobody makes vacation packages for 9.
6. Sleeping in ~ There is always someone awake early. Always.
7. NOT multi-tasking ~ We took the kids to this cool science museum over the weekend and they had this multi-tasking test. I surprised myself at scoring high as a multi-tasker. When I mentioned my surprise to my husband, he pointed to our children and told me I’ve had to adapt, obviously. Gee. Why didn’t I think of that?!?
8. Getting anything done all in one sitting ~ Even writing this blog post has been an exercise in patience.
9. Family passes ~ You know how you can buy a family pass to get into stuff, like a museum etc.? Yeah, when there are 9 of you, you either have to purchase 2 family passes, or 1 family pass, then add a bunch of people to it.
10. A Lamborghini or any 2 seater cars ~ We thought about buying one and just telling the kids they always have to stay home because there isn’t room for them. Funny, but that didn’t go over well.