8 Reasons Furby must die
We got a Furby for our daughter for Christmas.
It looked cute and she begged. It was the biggest toy-purchasing mistake thus far in my parenting career. Don’t let it’s cuteness fool you, that thing is evil.
After nearly two months of Furby ownership, I am now a Furby expert and it is my expert opinion that Furby must die. Here are 8 reasons why:
1. Furby acts evil. Yes, you read that right. If you are not nice, Furby becomes this scary monster that may give you nightmares.
2. There’s no OFF button. None. Nada. In order to make the blasted thing shut-up, you must find a deep dark corner where it won’t sense movement. Either that or pray the batteries die.
3. It babbles constantly, but not in English. Oh, no. It speaks Furby. So, you have to constantly interpret it so as to not piss it off, and then you must give it what it wants.
4. Don’t let the baby have it. If the baby gets a hold of it, it’s a toss-up which is worse; the Furby, or the screaming toddler when you remove the Furby from his arms.
5. It sucks battery juice faster than a Wii remote. This can be a pro as the toy is off. But the downside is the cranky child begging for new batteries every two seconds.
6. There’s something wrong with a toy which requires the following statement, “Oh, man?!? Why’d you wake it up?”
7. The other children pray that it quits making noise.
8. It interacts with your Iphone. This is a curse in and of itself since your child will be begging you every two seconds to use your phone to feed the Furby. Now that’s just wrong.
If you still find that you must purchase such a toy for your child, at least you’ve been warned. Hopefully, I’ve helped you avoid this particular pitfall. You may thank me later.