I am a Mom…not a robot.
There’s not a lot of room for error in my current career path. If I screw up, I have 7 small people holding me accountable. If I’m being honest, it’s a lot of pressure and kind of sucks sometimes. I’m a Mom, but I’m also human. I make mistakes. I have bad days. Heck, I have bad weeks.
This being a grown-up thing ain’t for sissies and sometimes, I feel like I should be on nice-Mom autopilot at all times. There are articles on the internet telling me to put the Iphone down and my own advice is to Carpe Diem. But I have always, always, always allowed myself room for humanity. I just wish others would too.
Let me be frank. Some days, my kids piss me off. But there’s this fear that if I admit that, it makes me a bad Mom. It makes me too human and Moms aren’t allowed humanity. We are to love our little ones perfectly. Always.
And a lot of times I do ok. I can be patient with the child who, despite begging until I am blue in the face, refuses to put her shoes away and can never find them. But then there’s that day where her inability to do one simple thing to make life easier just sends me over the edge. And I’m not talking PMS here. Sometimes life is just stressful. Sometimes life is hard. And sometimes, my kids piss me off.
I don’t like yelling at my kids. I really don’t. And I always apologize when I yell too much because I know better. But I also want them to know I’m not perfect and that it’s ok to make mistakes. And that it’s ok to apologize. And that it’s ok to have emotion and feelings. It’s all a part of life and part of my job is to show them how to deal with all those things before I send them out into the big bad world.
I am a Mom…not a robot.
And some days I don’t pay as much attention to their antics and things they beg for me to watch because in truth, I’ve seen it a hundred times already and right now I need a break. Moms do that, you know. If I were at a job, I would be allowed 15 minutes of alone time for every (wow, now I’m not sure) 4 hours of work, plus a lunch break. Lunch break as a mom consists of shoveling food in my face between feeding PB&J sandwiches to a bunch of kids. I love their beautiful pictures. Some days I love them a lot. Some days I just say I love their pictures because I love my kids, even though in truth, I don’t really care that they have colored Strawberry shortcake for the 100th time.
And you know what? I think that’s ok.
How can I be the same lady that says we should all Carpe Diem, you might wonder. Well, because Carpe Diem doesn’t mean to go on autopilot or that the world is coming up roses. Carpe Diem just means not to wish your life away.
But there is room for a day when your kids piss you off. There is space in there for when you really don’t want to be a Mom for a day and zoning out is best for all of you. There is room to be human. Tomorrow, you will wake up and try again. And tomorrow, you will probably feel better and exclaim with great exuberance, joy and delight when your child begs you to watch her go down the slide. Because, you know, you didn’t see that yesterday. Or the day before.
Judgement is the one thing that makes Motherhood more difficult than most other occupations. We are judged for everything. Whether we breastfeed, or formula feed. Whether we cloth diaper or don’t. Whether we…well, anything.
The next time you see a Mom with her face in an Iphone, or her nose in a book, stop and think about a day when your kids were pissing you off and give that Mom a break.
She’s a Mom…not a robot.