SuperMom Syndrome
2012
It’s 6 a.m. and I am up sweeping and mopping the floor. I know if I do it now, I won’t have to fight little people off the floor for a bit. The floor is pristine by the time my little lovelies wake for school. I help them get breakfast, blog a little, fix hair and drop kids off to school. I come home to do laundry and exercise then shower and run kids to appointments.
I continue my day by feeding kids, more laundry, more cleaning and lots of frustration as little tornadoes follow me around and undo all of my work. I help with homework, do crafts and read to my little ones. I multi-task feeding myself while reading part of a book on childhood anxiety. I drink my water and avoid going for the Pepsi.
It’s 9:30p.m. and I am finishing the dishes as exhaustion sets down on my shoulders like a four hundred pound dumbbell. I glance around and take in the clutter on the table and counter, then I proceed to dust crumbs from my feet by rubbing my foot on my pant leg. I worked all day, barely taking time to nourish myself. What was my reward? A partially clean house, children crying because I lost my temper, sticky spots on my recently cleaned floor, clean and folded laundry, kids taken and picked up from all of their activities and school.
Source: mommysavers.com via Stacey’s on Pinterest
And not once did I ask for help. No, not once. Because I can do it all. I SHOULD do it all.
And then I sat down and cried. I cried from exhaustion. I have been going like this for weeks. I have been doing it all; I even made bread. And my spousal unit, where was he? Well, he was at work because the new guy he hired to help ease the workload quit after two weeks and he doesn’t have time to hire and train another new guy before his September deadline.
So I was SuperMom.
But I wasn’t. Even after my late nights and early mornings attempting to get everything done, I noticed a strange thing. At the end of the day, everything looked the same, except I had spent the day exhausted and yelling at children. (Contrary to popular belief amongst my children, I really don’t like yelling at them.)
So in the morning, I got up at a regular time. I still got the children to school, but then I went to a Yoga class at my gym and I left my phone at home. Towards the end of the practice, the instructor said, “You need to heal your body and take care of yourself before you can even begin to take care of someone else.”
But I had been taking care of myself. I was exercising…with my kids. I would walk stairs and bark orders. Or, I would run and push them in the stroller and try to avoid WWIII. Somehow, I don’t think that’s what she meant.
I have forgotten myself. I have forgotten to be selfish. I am the MOM, and I should do EVERYTHING.
Because, you know, the President will visit tomorrow and I have to have clean floors.
Laying there on my yoga mat, I had an epiphany; one I’ve had before, but always seem to forget. I’m NOT SuperMom and nobody expects me to be, except for me. And in that moment, I vowed to recommit to taking care of myself. I vowed to find a better balance. I promised that I would take care of me, alone, without the children.
And guess what that means? A messy house, partially done laundry and maybe, just maybe, asking for help.
Source: howaboutorange.blogspot.com via Stacey’s on Pinterest
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If this was a facebook post, I would try and click “like” about 10 times. I’d say that I hope it eases up for you a bit, and I do,but I also know better. Life with this many doesn’t seem to ever really slow down.
diane robertson´s last [type] ..Normal Parenting
I can’t even put into words how much i love this post….you summed it up perfectly. I’m still not sure how to combat the thinking i have to do everything and do it perfectly (because the President totally IS going to stop in), to the detriment of my CHILDREN! It’s so hard to let go of things, or even let people help….this will be a lifelong struggle. It just will. Thank you for writing this!
This is such a great post. I think we have all been there a time or two…million.
It is such a hard balance in find in feeling like you are doing all of the things you need to in life, and take care of yourself too. I know I always put myself last and it is good to remember that that isn’t always a good thing. I am so glad you are taking more care of yourself. I constantly watch you and all you do and am amazed at how much strength you have. It is easy to be hard on ourselves, but I promise you that you do a much more amazing job than you give yourself credit for!!
So, obviously, I completely agree with the idea that we’re not Supermom…. which might be best explained by me reading your first sentence “It’s 6am and I am up sweeping and mopping the floor” and thinking: “What the CRAP is she doing up at 6am to sweep and mop the floor????”
So glad you got a yoga class in… it’s great for the brain.
I know! All I can say is that I went slightly insane for a brief period of time. But don’t worry, I am back to my usual sticky floors and mopping every other week. I’m much happier that way!
The clean house thing frustrates me to no end. I hate having sticky floors, so that is something I do every day. The rest though? Meh…if it doesn’t get done, it doesn’t get done. I’d rather get my run in than clean the stupid house
Runnermom-jen´s last [type] ..Soaking and Sentimental…