Things that make me go Hmmmm
A. My children’s ability to never, ever be able to find their shoes despite the lovely, functional and organized shoe bins, each of which contains their individual names, created for the sole purpose of storing shoes.
N. The desire of certain children to draw on walls despite the volumes of paper goods available for their artwork. I am raising graffiti artists for sure.
2. How a child can go to bed as the most annoying, frustrating human being that ever existed, then wake up the next morning as the yummiest, cutest, most adorable creature on the planet.
400. Why the baby must try to grab the poop during a diaper change requiring me to proclaim loudly, “Don’t grab the poop!” I mean ewwwww.
22B. How the house can go from clean to tornado-struck-it disaster-area in less than 20 minutes. I’m pretty sure it has something to do with the little people roaming my house.
D. How a toy that has not seen the light of day in weeks can surface, then cause the original owner such trauma because, “It’s mine and I want it back!!!!!” Then, once the owner finally has desired object, the owner plays with it for 1.2 seconds and then abandons the object which previously caused so much distress.
2. The innate ability of my children to sleep-in on school days and wake at the crack of stupid on the weekends. What is that?
Z. All the crying.
26C. The amount of socks that surfaced when I made my children clean out their nifty shoe bins. Apparently, they can store socks in their shoe bins, just not their shoes. The volume of socks was staggering.
56. If I enter the den to, let’s say, blog, all the children must come in, sit in the other computer chair, spin circles, cry and request attention. If I exit the den, no one needs me. If I enter my bedroom and close the door, incessant knocking and obnoxious requests will occur. Once I open the door and leave it open, all needs will magically disappear.
C. The constant loss of sippy cups. Where do they go?
3. Walking on all the things. If an object is on the floor, my children will go out of their way to step on it. Objects can include, but are not limited to; books, toys, blankets, coats, dishes, cats, each other, and groceries.
H. The magic of bedtime that creates the following life threatening issues; thirst, starvation, headaches, gaping wounds requiring immediate bandages, bladder control issues, forgotten homework, and necessary games that MUST be played immediately or “my crops will wither”.
XYZ. The hours between lunch time and snack time is three days long. Especially if you are four.
(52N. Just in case you were wondering, there is one 12 year old spinning circles with his feet on the desk, one stinky infant in my lap, a four-year old declaring her lack of desire to go to church and a two-year old requiring assistance, currently in the den. Then den is a magical place.)
ABC. This list could have also born the title “Things that make me crazy”. It’s apparently the same as Things that make me go Hmmmmm.
DEF. To sum up, my children make me go Hmmmmmm.