Comments on: Experience http://www.staceysmotheringmoments.com/2012/06/experience/ Mon, 20 May 2013 16:02:21 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.5.1 By: Kathleen Basi http://www.staceysmotheringmoments.com/2012/06/experience/comment-page-1/#comment-7231 Kathleen Basi Fri, 22 Jun 2012 21:58:59 +0000 http://staceysmotheringmoments.com/?p=3020#comment-7231 I’m a wimp–when running gets bad I just walk. Go you!

]]> By: shelton keys dunning http://www.staceysmotheringmoments.com/2012/06/experience/comment-page-1/#comment-7230 shelton keys dunning Fri, 22 Jun 2012 21:53:06 +0000 http://staceysmotheringmoments.com/?p=3020#comment-7230 Your active voice is powerful and driving. The last part of the post was your strongest! Very well done!

]]> By: Stacey http://www.staceysmotheringmoments.com/2012/06/experience/comment-page-1/#comment-7228 Stacey Fri, 22 Jun 2012 16:21:06 +0000 http://staceysmotheringmoments.com/?p=3020#comment-7228 Man! I didn’t catch that when I edited. Active and passive voice are seriously so hard for me! Thanks for the concrit! I love writing about running.

]]> By: Stacey http://www.staceysmotheringmoments.com/2012/06/experience/comment-page-1/#comment-7227 Stacey Fri, 22 Jun 2012 16:17:11 +0000 http://staceysmotheringmoments.com/?p=3020#comment-7227 Makes sense, my mistake. I need to read more carefully next time. The baby was obviously too distracting this morning. I really did enjoy your description. It made me hope that I won’t be that lonely when I am old. That’s probably one of my worst fears. Thanks so much for stopping by.

]]> By: Wisper http://www.staceysmotheringmoments.com/2012/06/experience/comment-page-1/#comment-7226 Wisper Fri, 22 Jun 2012 16:07:55 +0000 http://staceysmotheringmoments.com/?p=3020#comment-7226 Ouch! That is an accomplishment to finish a race while in pain. Nice job with the active voice description as well!

]]> By: Lori http://www.staceysmotheringmoments.com/2012/06/experience/comment-page-1/#comment-7225 Lori Fri, 22 Jun 2012 15:28:37 +0000 http://staceysmotheringmoments.com/?p=3020#comment-7225 This is great! It is hard to capture an experience in only 100 words, but I felt like I was right there with you. Great job on the post and crossing that finish line!!

]]> By: sandra tyler http://www.staceysmotheringmoments.com/2012/06/experience/comment-page-1/#comment-7224 sandra tyler Fri, 22 Jun 2012 15:10:46 +0000 http://staceysmotheringmoments.com/?p=3020#comment-7224 Hi stacey, thanks for your comment on my post. Though “was experiencing” is indeed active; the subject is still performing the action (i.e. my old woman protagonist). She is not being acted UPON which would make it the passive. I did not write “loneliness was experienced by…” That would have been the passive construction.

]]> By: Tessa http://www.staceysmotheringmoments.com/2012/06/experience/comment-page-1/#comment-7223 Tessa Fri, 22 Jun 2012 14:57:11 +0000 http://staceysmotheringmoments.com/?p=3020#comment-7223 Good job on the prompt and congratulations for crossing the finish line.

]]> By: barbara @ de rebus http://www.staceysmotheringmoments.com/2012/06/experience/comment-page-1/#comment-7222 barbara @ de rebus Fri, 22 Jun 2012 14:51:49 +0000 http://staceysmotheringmoments.com/?p=3020#comment-7222 Love! Ragnar is a TOUGH one. Well done you. I love writing about running!

My concrit would be on this like here: “pain began to ease and was replaced by the intense desire to finish what I started” – “pain…was replaced by…desire” is passive!

Try: “to run 100 yards, then 200. An intense desire to finish what I started began to replace the pain.”

Excellent way to capture the pain and exhilaration of a run!

:)

]]> By: sandra tyler http://www.staceysmotheringmoments.com/2012/06/experience/comment-page-1/#comment-7221 sandra tyler Fri, 22 Jun 2012 14:19:33 +0000 http://staceysmotheringmoments.com/?p=3020#comment-7221 I’m exhausted just reading this! Though if I were actually to run it, I’d fall off way before that finish line..:)

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