posted by Stacey on An hour in a day, chaos, children

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Today, I would like to share with you an hour that would make a lesser woman commit herself to an insane asylum willingly.

Today, my sister and I took our kids to the park. You know, that outdoor place with stuff to do. Yeah, that place. We thought it would be a lovely idea and perhaps would pass the time a bit more quickly as it was ONLY 9:30 a.m. and the morning was bound to last FOREVER if we didn’t.

So after fighting with a balloon, a bike and three children (another story for another post), we arrived at the park. I freed my children from their car seats and bid them adieu. I happily watched them run away. AWAY. I grabbed Mr. Baby and went to join my sister at the swings.

But the baby wouldn’t swing. I KNOW. What the crap? And then the big kids wouldn’t swing.

So we told them to go down the slide. But all they wanted was food. It was 10:45 a.m. I said no. So then they were thirsty. Again, no, go play. Then they all asked my sister. And then the baby wouldn’t play. Nope. He wanted me to hold him. All. Day. Long.

So my sister went and got sand toys and we once again bid the children adieu. They looked at us as though we had two heads. They didn’t WANT to play in the sand. WHO WERE THESE CHILDREN?!?!

But we were mean and made them. And we starved them too. I think there were time outs. At 11:15, we finally allowed them to stuff their starving bodies. They ate. And they ate. Then they were full. But no, wait, they were still hungry…so I handed out 7 apples and told them they had to eat them far, far away from me.

The apples worked for five minutes.

Then the horde was thirsty. And hungry, and…go freaking play already!!!!

So we made them go find dandelions. After a couple of minutes we found them huddled together at the top of a slide, in exile. They made their way back to us and we sent them to go collect pine cones. I think they collected three. And then we spotted them huddled together at the top of a slide again.

At this point, we broke down in laughter at the ridiculousness of it all. Then we gave the five minute warning. I mean, enough was enough already.

And do you know what happened? DO YOU?!?! The little buggers went off and played.

Dang kids.

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